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I stumbled across this entry a few days ago. It was in an old vans notebook. It's always pretty cool when I find some of my old writings scattered around. Sometimes I feel like writing and just grab whatever is in site. Sometimes when I read my stuff it automatically takes me back to that day. I can remember exactly what I was doing and feeling. Other times I don't really recall why I wrote what I wrote and try to remember if it was for someone else or myself. Either way it's always pretty neat coming across my old thoughts.

This has not title only a date. I hate when I don't title my entries. I always try to think of the perfect title for my writings. When I can't think of anything at that time I put it away in hopes of it coming to me later. I usually end up forgetting about it. At least it has a date. Sometimes they don't eve have that.

September 23, 2004

You have to learn to let things go

Accept yourself for who you are

You are you no matter what you do to try and change that

It's ok to feel different, it's ok to feel weird

What are you afraid of?  Let go of your fears

Why the insecurities, why the reassurance all the time?

Accepting is the best thing you can do.

Just release, let go

There's no point in holding on

Just be happy

God has a plan

Be happy for what you have

Don't compare or despair

Everything will work out fine

Pick your head up and smile

Reveal your true inner beauty

You are who you are

Thank God everyday for that

Be thankful for what you have

I can't state that enough

Just don't feel down, don't feel down

Be glad for what you have

You're a great person

You're an extraordinary human being

You have many gifts

Not many can see

You are a blessing to everyone in your life

Know someones loves you come rain or come shine

Know you're beautiful

Know you're extraordinary

Know you're unique

Know to love yourself

Always accept and respect who you are

First Day of School

Yesterday was Sami's first day of school. I was a bit nervous and excited about it. She had been asking to go to school for quite sometime and being that she is still a toddler, it was a bit difficult finding one that would accept her. We finally found one near our home so it worked out nicely.

I was a little scared when I walked Sam to class. I knew she'd like it but I wondered how'd she behave. Her Nina (my sister) also came along for Sam's special day. We were both eager to see how'd she react.

As expected Sam behaved quite well. She interacted well with the kids and for the most part, listened to her teacher. There was a couple of times she had a hissy fit because she wanted to play and it wasn't play time. I was a little frustrated with that because I didn't know what to do. I had to take her outside a few times to scold her AND explain to her that it wasn't playtime. Other than that she was good. She didn't want to leave and kept saying she wanted to go back to school. I'm a little bummed that I won't be able to take her everyday. It felt really nice being able to be there for my kid. I wish I could but obviously my hours won't allow it. Maybe some day I'll be able to take my kid to school and pick her up everyday. That would be rad.

Where Nobody Knows

The Kings of Leon hold a special place in my heart. I think it's fair to say that's our band. By our I mean Mr. Andrade and I. There are certain songs that pertain to certain times in our lives. I'd say A LOT of their songs. That's pretty rad if you ask me. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, if Kings of Leon comes on my iPod or the radio, I automatically pause and smile. I am instantly reminded of all the memories we have made so far. Not only do we have a love song, we have a bitching band! Aww who knew I could be so romantic?

Tricycle! Tricycle!

Sometimes it's tough being a parent. Aside the obvious things such as tantrums, yelling, not wanting to sleep in their own bed, teaching them manners, and a lot of other things I'm sure most parents can relate to. Recently I came across a new dilemma. Mean kids. I'm not saying my kid is an angel but I try to teach her to be nice to everyone. For the most part she is with the exception of her dad, uncle and godmother. She tends to beat them up. Kids however, she seems to play well with. So when I see a kid being mean to her in any way shape or form it drives me nuts. It automatically makes me pretty damn bitter. Especially if the parent fails to step in. I try to keep my cool because they are kids and naturally they will get into it but I have to admit it's not easy. I know unless it's something serious there is really no reason to say anything. In the end the kids will make up and I and the other parent would probably still be upset at each other over something that was totally insignificant.

This past weekend Sam had a busy schedule. She went on a couple of outings, a couple of parties and spend time with the family. At some of these events the kids weren't always the sweetest. In one instance one kid didn't want Sam to play with them which totally broke my heart, and in the other, the kid was refusing to share toys. Yet, was more than willing and eager to use Sam's. Needless to say it broke my heart. Sam didn't complain until one of the kid's hit her. Again nothing was said and I just left it alone and pulled Sam aside.

After having an interesting weekend her dad and I decided we were going to buy her something special. Her first tricycle. As I mentioned before in my previous blog she had pretty much learned how to ride a bike within a day. We picked her up from her abuelita's house and surprised her with her tricycle. She loved it! She was stoked about finally having her own bike. It totally made my day and my heart melt seeing her so happy. 

I know kids are going to be kids. I also know once she starts school she will come across mean ones. I do worry about it but understand it's a part of life. I want my kid to be tough but sweet. In other words, I want her to be nice to those around her but know not to put up with shit. I'm sure that won't be too hard. I'm not exactly known for keeping my mouth shut.

Time For Sam's First Trek

Sam learned how to ride a tricycle in one day. I was pretty amazed. I didn't think she'd get it that quickly. I figured she'd master riding backwards before being able ride forward. It only took a couple of coaching lessons and voila! She was on her way. She seemed to get everything down fairly well with the exception of turns. She still has some trouble with that. Nothing a little practice can't take care of. We're pretty stoked about getting Sam her first little bike. The one on the video is her little cousin's. Once she she gets her own they can start a tricycle club.

It seems with each passing day Sam's growing at faster rate. My heart breaks a little bit each time. A couple of weeks ago one of our former neighbor's daughter graduated from high school. I was commenting to Mr. Andrade how I still remember her walking around as a little girl. Now, she's a beautiful young woman, graduating and off to college! I told him pretty soon that was going to be Sam. The thought alone of my 2 year old graduating from high school and leaving for college had me in tears. Mr. Andrade teased me a bit but I seen him get a little bummed too. After all, that is his little girl.